The Island'er' (Part 2)

Do I love people, or do I love what people can do for me?

(Jesus, the prototype)

Gorgeous...

If you read Part One, you would remember that we were pondering if being an island isn't better than being in a friendship or relationship that constantly drains you. (READ HERE IF YOU HAVEN'T)

Well...

In this part, there is another question I think we need to ask ourselves.

Do I love people, or do I love what people can do for me?

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Sometimes, I wonder why I meet some particular kinds of people. I usually tell myself it's because maybe God wants me to learn something from them, widen my perspective, or whatever the case may be. Honestly, I don't really know.

But I know this much.

As someone who values her privacy to the core, I also enjoy having people simply "be" around me.

Not necessarily to get or gain anything from their presence. Sometimes, I just want someone around to talk to once in a while.

That is how I have always been...

Until I met someone.

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Gorgeous, they opened my eyes to the fact that human beings can be 1000% transactional.

If you have nothing tangible to offer them, they see no use in having you around.

Now, reading this, it will be very easy for you to say:

"There's nothing wrong with that!"

But hear me out.

If you are someone like me, who simply likes people for being people, being around someone who constantly measures people by what they can "bring to the table" will slowly drain you.

I'm not even joking.

When you just want to sit and have a random conversation, the person is already thinking:

"What will this conversation produce financially?"

"What is the end product of this conversation?"

"How can we monetise this?"

Even when you simply want to rest and breathe, somehow the question becomes:

"How will that rest bring you wealth?"

Gorgeous...

I am not even joking. I think this is a terrible way to live.

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Every day, I sometimes find myself asking:

"How did I even meet this person?"

When every discussion becomes:

"Take, take, take..."

And funnily enough, people who operate this way can sometimes become very good at manipulation.

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Gorgeous, please believe me when I tell you that this is not a good way to live.

You don't have to expect something from everybody around you.

Sometimes, have friends you simply love listening to.

Have friends you like sitting still with.

Have friends you like laughing with.

Have people your spirit just likes having around, whether they add to your pocket or advance your life or not.

Life is already complicated.

Let people breathe.

Stop loading people with expectations and making them feel like they have to continually prove their usefulness to you. Because the moment they fail to catch up, you push them aside and head to the next person.

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This is not the way Jesus lived.

He doesn't love you because of what you can offer Him.

He just loves you.

He didn't come asking humanity what we could give Him.

He came giving.

He served.

He loved.

He listened.

He touched people.

He wept with people.

And ultimately...

He gave His life.

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So, Gorgeous, learn to examine your own heart because it is very easy to complain about the person who keeps taking from us.

But...

What if we are also doing this to someone else?

Ask yourself:

Do I love this person?

Or do I love what they do for me?

If they stopped giving me money, connections, opportunities, attention, favours or access, would I still want them around?

If they could no longer help me, would I still call them my friend?

Because perhaps the question isn't only:

"Are they using me?"

Perhaps we should also ask:

"Am I using them?"

Happy September. 🤍

Mama.

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